Culture

A Minor Retraction or: How I Learned to Live With But Not Necessarily Love the 2009 World Champions

Johnny Trutor

For starters, I want to retract the title of this article. I know it's not clever to follow Kubrick's formula, and that any originality contained within is forfeit to an uncreative title. That being said, let’s get going.

This is being written at 5 AM on a very, very, long day. Alexander once called these kind of days “a no-good, very bad day.” Following Alexander’s example and moving to Australia seems enticing, particularly because of the availability of HP Sauce and Vitamin-D producing sunlight in that country.

For a state that’s as flat as (insert quaint New England metaphor from my childhood), Minnesota sure doesn’t see the benefit of having an endless horizon once the sun sets. Here, as in many things, I place blame squarely on the Bush administration, owing to the ridiculous daylight savings nonsense that was enacted for-- honestly, I can’t remember any reasons being given. The sun now effectively burns my eyes because on November 1st, we all became morlocks.

To the point, my last (first) article for this publication was an editorial written in the wake of a heart-rending moment. When the Expos folded, I went through a rough patch sports-wise before I moved to Minnesota and became enamored with the Twins. I outed myself as a closeted Canadiens fan in a Bruins household, desperately trying to hold on to nearby Montréal’s last remaining bastion of civic pride. I turned on the Boston Red Sox, my traditional AL favorites shortly after their hollow victory in 2004, ultimately marred for me by Curt Schilling’s post-series politicking on the eve of election day. Honestly, the Sox management has always been pro-Democrat, progressive-minded even. When I was a little kid, my Mom bought me a pin that said “Dukakis and the Red Sox-- Winners in ’88.” Staggering, isn’t it? Dukakis is still one of my favorite Democrats. He drove a tank right into my heart. But for a prominent Sox player (and Yankees-esque journeyman moneyballer) to go against John Kerry, a Massachusetts senator who windsurfed his way into my heart, well, screw the Sox. Put a leash on your players, and maybe I’ll respect you a bit more.

I try to keep a jocular attitude about politics and sports. Honestly, I would prefer not to know. And generally, it’s best not to mix politics and the emotions of attachment associated with being a fan or a friend or a family. We’ve all learned how to negotiate people to our right and left who are close to us. Either you develop a relationship based on respect and common interest, or you bicker like two schoolboys fighting over a Twix. Schilling turned me off. The Sox won a series, and all I could think about is how much more this would have meant if Gedman or Vaughn or Garciaparra were on the roster.

Now, I said some inflammatory stuff in the last article, and I’m getting to that. I’m not retracting how I felt that night, but I do want to atone for buying into the media narrative that the Yankees are the evil empire. The other major media narrative is that the Yankees are the rightful owners of baseball, and they have returned, Aragorn-style, with the ghosts of the past leading the charge into the new age blah blah blah. Neither are right. The New York Yankees are a baseball team, and they won the right games to win this year. It’s a bit zen, but that’s how I’m taking it. And, like I said, I cheer for the Canadiens in the Prince of Wales Conference, so I would be a complete hypocrite not to note that the Yankees winning the World Series does somehow seem right, or at least, appropriate.

But why this change of heart? Well, for one, Mauer and Harris and Span have likely moved on with their lives, filling their offseason days with games of Stratego or checking out the new Sonic in Bloomington or maybe getting some well-deserved sleep. Baseball season is over, and I’ve taken to applauding Chester Taylor for his determination, Cal Clutterbuck for his toughness, and the Timberwolves as a unit for shooting at the right basket well over 40% of the time. That last part was a cop-out because I couldn’t tell you who plays for the Timberwolves, let alone who is their fan favorite underdog hero-type.

I should point out that I was also pretty broken up about the end of baseball at the HHH Metrodome, always a fun, cheap date. I’ve been mollified by the fact that there’s now a light up logo of my favorite Twins variant heraldry in the outfield that- and this is crucial here- animates the Minneapolis Millers and St. Paul Saints players shaking hands when a home run is hit at Target Field. A clutch Kubel hit just got more awesome.

Also, something stuck out to me in the aftermath of the Yankees’ victory. Undoubtedly, Alex Rodriguez is a monster, a golem of the culture of consumption born out of the erupted ulcers of our failing news media. But honestly, Teixeria, Swisher, Chamberlain, all of the other guys I called out in the article really aren’t as horrible as my imagination made them out to be. When mid-November rolls along, I don’t even remember who they are. For most of baseball season, I don’t remember who they are. They’re just cogs in a machine that doesn’t come by these parts that often. So, although I stated this much less pleasantly in the punchline last time, I just don’t care enough about them to get angry. Unless they beat my team in the last game they’ll ever play in a stadium overcrowded with my happy memories.

It’s worth noting that Joe Girardi, a guy who I can’t stand to listen to, is actually a decent human being. After beating the Phillies in game 6, and holding the Commissioner’s Trophy in his hands while being cheered by the jubilant home crowd, you’d think Girardi would take a pass on doing anything for a while. On the way home, however, Girardi and his wife passed a single-car accident, and did the right thing. They pulled over on the freeway, got out and helped the woman, who thankfully only had a few cuts. That, my friends, is winning with class on a whole new level.

So, congratulations to the World Champion Yankees. Speaking of dynasties, now let's talk about whether or not the Toronto Maple Leafs will win 10 games this season.